Some days I wish something apocalyptic would happen. 

Just so that i could focus on something other than me. You may think I'm selfish, but I live alone... with a cat, and my friends are 5 hrs away. So I have nobody to talk to.. there IS nobody else to focus on ~huff~

Speaking of the apocalypse, 

why does everyone look like they did all their clothes shopping at their local BDSM store?

My apocalypse is going to be spent raiding Saks Fifth Ave, 

while wielding a giant display perfume of Chanel No.5 as a flame thrower. And I will wear a pair of Christian Louboutin until Its just duct tape holding the soles to my feet

They call me the Apocalyptic Fashionista

Not a bad day overall,

Mostly pretty boring, and spending most of the day on Netflix. After finishing Emily Owens, I've settled on Luther, looks like a pretty good crime drama fom the BBC and it has 3 seasons!

I'm in a much better mood and not wallowing in my own self pity, so I suppose thats always a bonus. I'm definitely looking forwards to Thanksgiving with my parents, I love hanging out with my mom. My dad can be an asshole but I still love him.  

3 more days in the work week...
 till then

I'll never be chosen.

I'll never be the one people run to, or write ballads about. I've always been good enough to fuck, but never good enough to love. I thought I was funny, loving, loyal, and caring.. but I've always thought I was just to ugly to ever be loved, nice enough to pity fuck for sure.. but love.. you've got to be joking. But then people try REALLY hard to convince me that I'm beautiful, but if its not my looks...

 Then why am i so awful?

I try to act like it doesn't effect me, but really I am so far gone in my life and convinced of my horridity that I haven't even LOOKED at a guy in 7 years. I don't bother. 

Just me, my computer, my nails and my cats

Don't worry, it's probably just too much Netflix

Some days are harder than others for no reason at all, and I am on the verge of tears all day. 

Half rage and half sorrow. And I do everything I can to distract myself. Cat videos, nail art, r/aww, pretty much anything that provides ample distraction from the mind numbing anguish, pain and rage I feel every day. Trying desperately to not think about how ugly I am, and how fat I am, and how I can't even make a decent new friend in this all alone town. 

Also my ears are stabby

I don't know why I have this, but it makes me giggle...